I think future’s one big absurdity,
Based upon plans and plans of hard work;
That matter to only me,
And dies along the lines of my self-worth.
I keep telling myself it’s okay,
“Keep going on, it’s not too late”;
All alone, tracking these tracks,
Of progress I no more seem to understand.
“Get a job, get love, get a family”
“Break your heart and bury it with the dust”
If only my plans were so succinct,
I won’t be ranting here of hard work.
In the land of monsters and machines,
I was only trying to preserve myself;
The essence of who I am,
And the future I dream to have.
But now I’m beat and down,
And I understand it’s all an absurdity;
My plans, my golden crown,
My hopes, crushed like petals of my clarity.
Love is ticking like time,
And you’re my heartbeat.
If I breathe a bit slowly,
Will you stay with me?
I can’t imagine what it’ll be like,
If you set me free;
I just want to be yours,
That’s all I need.
I just need your hand on my waist,
Us dancing slowly until all time is erased;
In eternity, we can stay with no haste
In this lifetime, with love that can’t be replaced.
Slow love, hearts beating rhythmically,
No hurt, just happiness, that’s what I feel;
When I’m with you, I can’t think and it’s a relief,
There’s nothing else in my world, just you and me.
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I think your skin is like glass melting,
A touch and I feel like I’ll drown;
Drinking into you liquor like skin,
Soft and supple, just like clouds.
The more I taste your supple skin,
The more I feel out of breath;
All I need is your sweet touch,
Or an elixir like your skin.
I like the taste of your lips,
I like that look in your eyes;
I love what you make me feel
Inside out, it’s like I’m alive.
So let me drown in your skin,
Feel you like ribbons entangled;
While I’m busy untying the knots,
Give a chance for love to unravel.
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That’s what I call myself;
I’m always somewhere in between,
Doing, and done things.
I see life as a journey,
And I’m not looking for a destination;
For if I reach it early,
My remaining life will be an aestivation.
And I don’t want that,
I want to keep on going;
Keep working for something or another,
And not settling in anything but true love.
Because if I stop, I’ll have nothing to keep going,
And if I don’t make stops, there will be no point to keep going;
So I make many stops, and let life happen,
So that I’ll be a work-in-progress until I finally retire.
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I can’t share my favorite things,
They’re all part of my soul;
These things give meaning,
To my life and shield my soul.
They act like an outer covering,
That protects anyone from entering my soul;
If I give up any one of these things,
I might never be whole.
I tried sharing small parts of my life,
Those parts that trigger pleasure;
But when they are a part of someone else,
I feel they change their conformation.
They no longer fit my receptors,
They no longer make me happy,
They no longer belong to me,
Their meaning’s not what it used to be.
So I can’t share my favorite things,
It’s not like I don’t want to;
But sharing a part with you is like breaking a part of me,
And I’m scared that it might never heal.
Sometimes it’s easier to make up my mind,
I just have to pick an option and live with it;
But being me, I can’t stop over thinking,
And chaos is all I’m left with.
I try to explain to myself,
“ Pick any, and then stop thinking“;
But I go ‘to and fro’ my list,
Vacillating chaos filled with indecisive feelings.
I can confuse myself with anything,
Trivialities are also of equal importance;
It’s not that I’m looking for someone to blame,
It’s just that I want to plan all of my games.
But planning doesn’t consider decisions,
And decisions give multiple options;
Vacillating chaos starts to spiral,
And that marks my mind’s entrance.
Kiss me like a rose,
Tell me you want me to open up;
Teach you about my vulnerable parts,
Patiently, give up all my cards.
Because somewhere in your mind,
You think I’m like roses;
Red and shy, not knowing her worth,
Scared of the world, and its emotional twirls.
You think I put up thorns to scare people away,
So they don’t reach the delicate side of me;
Because if some disaster reaches the core of a flower,
It will be ruined, lost out of reach.
But stop thinking of me as a rose,
I’m nothing like your abstract thoughts;
There’s more to me than meets the eye,
More than these words I put in disguise.
Do kiss me like a rose,
But know I’m more than the existent;
Only roses can be roses,
I’m different, like nothing else.
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