There are times in our lives when we feel that we ourselves have ruined some of our opportunities. After all that we have been through, in the end our state of mind wasn’t the right one for the situation. And that’s when all of it starts. Guilt, procrastination, obsession, habits, all of it. It’s as if we are deliberately trying to not get what we want, even though we have worked hard for it all to actually happen.
I don’t know why we do this or what is the psychology behind it. If you do, I would really like to know. Till then I hope this poem sums up how we feel when we end up making that mess. It is about a person talking to his past self and figuring out the situation.
Dear Past Me,
I thought we made sense.
But since that happened,
And my life shattered,
I don’t think I can make it back again.
You told me I was perfect,
And I thought it was true.
But how can we
even manage to be
If “perfect” is far from you.
You said we will make it
But I am stuck here.
I made some mistakes,
Turned the wrong stones again.
I am hating myself,
But you’re not here.
What am I to do
If even I’m not there.
I was the one,
But now I am just someone.
I feel you tricked me
In believing in that someone.
But I wish it was true
And that I did not screw this over.
I wish I close my eyes and this dream was over.
Am I procrastinating an inevitable end?
Or am I just grasping for some breath?
Am I tired? Or do I blame you for a liar?
Or is this whole thing just in my head?
I wish I knew the answers,
To these questions I create.
But till then it might suffice,
To blame you till the end.
I haven’t even seen if this was actually a mistake or not.
But waiting for it all makes me feel so wrong somehow.
I know I’ve got to stop blaming you,
Because you were actually perfect.
I need to remember that I had a life,
And get it back instead.
Featured Image – http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-tips-to-overcome-a-major-setback/