I am sorry for skipping off my routinely posts for the last week, but I was just busy with some soul searching.
It has been a long time since I ‘looked’ at my life. I have been so busy making an idea of the future I should be in, that I forgot to take a look at what I actually wanted. I have been stuck in that same routine, the same cacophony of making it in this particular field, that I forgot why I started with this in the first place. And now that I look at it, I realize that all this has only provided me with radio silence of messages, hopes and longings that I can no longer convey with myself.
I’m tired of being stuck in a mess I created as an einstellung to my idea of happiness. I misinterpreted what actually gave me joy and succumbed to the sadness this all has given me along these years. And I have only just begun to wonder what I was doing all along.
But now I do understand that this needs to end. I can’t pretend to be dead while I’m still full of ambitions and dreams. I can’t take this anymore. I just can’t.
So, now, it is time for me to get back at being awesome…yet again. 😉